how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
