so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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