69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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