it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
