Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
