this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
