So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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