the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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