After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
