Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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