You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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