I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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