ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
