Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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