i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
