3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the condom got lost in my hair
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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