Non-Jews are for practice
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
