We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
