College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
