i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
