She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
