I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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