someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
