i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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