I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
