I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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