Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
