I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
