I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
