Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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