this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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