apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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