I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
