my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
