found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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