Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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