I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
