"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
