he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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