don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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