He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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