i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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