____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
