Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
