wake up i wanna do it froggy style
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
