Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
