I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
