I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
