Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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