Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
