I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
