I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
