Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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