that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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