Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My room smells like vodka and shame
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
