Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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