using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
