everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I looked at my own cervix.
My pussy is not your playground.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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