apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
