And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
