just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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