i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
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one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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