I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
