It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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