hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
