The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So. Much. Porn.
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