people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
