love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
