uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
