...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
