I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
