That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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