Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She needs sedatives and a leash
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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