apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
