At least make sure they are 18
Why
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
